I can't believe it's already June. Seriously, what the fuck?! Life around here is a whirlwind of planning and prepping and meetings and decisions. "What's on the schedule this week?" "When was that appointment?" "Have you called your mother?"... spoiler alert, she hasn't. It's been hard for us to catch a breath these days. Today I was excited because I got out of work a little bit early. It was enough time for me to run to the store to grab a couple ingredients for dinner, come home and write this blog post and have food on the table before Honey got home. I was headed towards the check outs at Sprouts and the power went out.
I've always had this dream of being locked in a Whole Foods or Sprouts never knowing when I'd be rescued. Left to survive on nothing but over-priced bulk items and fancy vegan treats! This was not that dream. I had worked through lunch and was getting hangry. No power in the store meant that I could only pay for my items with cash, which I of course never have. It's 2017! I was going to use Apple Pay! At the risk of sounding too millennially I wanted to ask the manager if I could send him money with the Cash App in exchange for some genuine paper money so that I could get out of there - alas, I refrained.
It was pouring outside with those crazy Texas side-rain storms that make it impossible to do much of anything. I made small talk and grumbles with the cashless community I found myself in while I snuck a chiled mango from my bulk bag. Lucy, my new friend, and I had decided that we were going to give the power another ten minutes and revaluate our lives at that point. Ten minutes later she said, "Well, I have cash in my car, I just didn't want to get wet." and left! Next thing I know, she's back, pays for her groceries and mine and refuses to let me pay her in any way. She just said, "pay it forward" - and just like that I was crying. (If you know me well, you know that it doesn't take much to make me cry, but that's besides the point.)
Lucy restored my faith in humanity and re-centered me for a moment. I tend to stay in-the-know on the news as much as I can and more often then not it depresses me. The recent Portland story with the stabbing victims really upset me. All I keep thinking is, "They were doing the right thing! They were doing the right thing!" and unfortunately that wasn't enough to save them. These thoughts tend to take me down really scary rabbit holes that lead me to an alternate version of myself that doesn't want to bring children into a world that is so horrible. I don't understand how I'm supposed to be ok with my kid out there. But lucky for me I'm married to the most wonderful woman. She pulls me out of the rabbit holes and helps me remember that we are going to raise little badasses who are kind and compassionate and strong and as a family we will all "be the change". I am grateful to Lucy for doing her part to "be the change" today.
Tiny Human Update:
I can never say enough, how fortunate I am to have such an amazing wife. As I'm sure you have already learned, I tend to ramble and get lost in the little crevices of society. The day-to-day can be a lot and she makes getting through all of it bearable, fun even. We function well together and for the most part our balance is better than most 24 year-old yogi's. Combing through this baby stuff is overwhelming sometimes. I think it's because the entire conception of this child, both literally and figuratively, has to be well thought out and planned. I think this causes me to feel like I have to have everything figured out now, and I forget that we will still have a good ten months after conception to keep trudging along.
Current things on my mind: I need to pick a birth plan. Birth plan? I still have to settle on an OB! I really want to go tour the San Antonio Birth Center. Should I have a mid-wife or a doula? I definitely want a doula. At least a postpartum doula; I don't have the luxury of parents or in-laws with nothing but time to help me in those first few weeks. What about the nursery? Is purple gender neutral? Definitely... Cue in Honey.
Since our last post, we completed counseling with our donor, amended legal paperwork as necessary and got preliminary documents notarized. We have chosen who will gain legal custody of our kids in the unlikely event of a freak accident where neither of us survive, and other estate things. Hopefully we can meet soon with the lawyer to finalize that as well. We also have looked into advanced training classes for Ellie with Sit Means Sit. She is the most attached to me and her separation anxiety causes her to bark a lot. As far as I understand it, babies don't like loud noises so we are trying to be proactive here. Other than that, we have a couple appointments with fertility specialists this week and will go from there.
I'm looking forward to, weather permitting, our first float trip of the year! I love river time! Also, for my birthday Honey got me tickets to the Harry Potter Symphony and that is this weekend! I haven't been to the symphony since I was little, like 10, so I'm kind of stoked. What is appropriate to wear to a Harry Potter Symphony?