It's been about ten days since we made our story public! We have been very blessed to have received such positive feedback and support. Conversations have been opened with our family and with members of our community that we have never even met and for this we are so very grateful.
We both come from very traditional and conservative hispanic up-bringings. Some of our family have been curious and respectfully inquisitive and we are more than happy to share our experiences. Other conversations have come from those who have already been where we are today and say "we wish something like this existed when we were starting to go through the process". That, so far, has been my favorite response. That is the whole point of this project! We hope that some day, no one has to say something like that again.
In regards to running a website like this, well- we are still figuring out the ins and outs. I'm going to try to figure out a schedule for a consistent update. Ideally, I'd like to have Jessica have her journey through this heard as well. As soon as she promises not to address our readers as Droids, Jedi or something else ridiculous, she'll be here posting too. We appreciate your patience while we get this all sorted out.
In our Tiny Human Update, here are our recent developments:
In efforts to keep everything clean and simple we sought out legal advice as a first step to getting the show on the road. We wanted to find an attorney who not only understood what we were trying to build, but would also believe in it. We shopped around a little and spoke to a couple different lawyers. Some were adoption lawyers that didn't mind doing adoptions for LGBTQ families, but that was not their specialty. Those lawyers seemed more about the dollar and less knowledgable about the challenges that our families have to face. Other lawyers were family lawyers who seemed less interested in us at all, but were ready to rattle off their fees.
We are happy say that we decided on an attorney that we fell in love with. As of Friday, our legal representation will be Suzanne Bryant. Suzanne and her wife Sarah have been together for over thirty years and are raising two wonderful teenage daughters. Suzanne and Sarah were the first legally married gay couple in Texas – four months before the US Supreme Court decision. Talking with Suzanne was like catching up with an old friend. She made us feel comfortable and normal and the fact that she has already personally been through our journey was just icing on the cake.
The first part in the legal process is to sign a Joint Representation Agreement. This basically states that both Jessica and I agree to be represented by Suzanne as a single entity throughout the conception and adoption processes. Second, we also received our Donor Agreement and Affidavit of Waiver of Interest in a Child. These are documents for us to file with our donor and their significant other. These forms have basic template to them, but both parties are allowed and encouraged to append and include whatever they see fit to protect all those involved.
In our efforts to keep the legal part of this process from getting messy, we have decided that the best way to go through these forms is to sit with our counselor. This way all four of us will be on neutral ground where we can vocalize any concerns or desires and our counselor, Savannah , can help us navigate towards terms we agree upon. Please don't get me wrong... we have a very healthy relationship with our donor. We have all just found that it's easy for things to get emotional while we go through the steps, so whatever we can do to ease the stress is a win - win for us all. We will be attending our counseling session on Wednesday and hopefully have our papers filed by the end of the week.
Everything is becoming a little more real for us. It's very exciting! I've started on pre-natal vitamins as per my OBGYN and ovulation tracking is going well. This Sunday we are attending the Fourth Annual Central Texas LGBT Potluck. Suzanne hosts this picnic annually so that LGBTQ families can meet other LGBTQ families and continue to build on the community. I'm actually pretty excited about that too. It's times like this that I wish my family didn't live so far away. I think that an event like this would be good for them to attend.
I'm considering adding a Timeline page on this site as well. I like structure and when someone asks, "What should we do first?", I think it would be a helpful reference. Please continue to share any and all feedback. I very much love the chances I get to make something better!
Love Like Honey,
** update edit 5/30- We did not make it to the LGBTQ Potluck in Austin due to weather. And I had the intention of starting again on pre-natals, but haven't actually done that yet. Well, I mean I did it, for like 2 days and then forgot. I'm bad at the daily pill-taking thing. Oops. Planning to start on 6/1.